il mucca

i was all ready to write a post today about the lady in the green subaru who’s stood between me and my coffee in the starbucks drive-thru multiple times this week (and how she’s partially to blame for my frantic mornings) and to form any number of mostly unfounded conclusions about her to support my witty diatribe.

it would have been a doozy. i am not a fan of subarus in general.

as i drove home this afternoon, i noticed a large group of people lining the road, bundled up in the cold, grey afternoon drizzle, and hundreds of american flags. there were flags everywhere- big ones, small ones. held by people. sticking up out of the brown, dead grass next to the sidewalks. draped on fire engines. attached to cars. a seemingly endless row of flags, whipping in the angry wind. it took me several blocks to figure out why they were gathered- people and flags- braving the cold and the wind and the rain. a parade? a protest?

suddenly it hit me. and i had to pull over and stop my car. not just because every car on wade hampton was stopped, but because i could no longer see the road because of the tears that clouded my vision.

and the frustrations of my week disappeared. the lady in the green subaru, the fight i had with my roommate, the finals i have to take next week, my quest for the perfect vintage chair- all of it.

i was completely and totally eclipsed. by someone who made the ultimate sacrifice. so that people like you and me can go to starbucks and attend school and disagree with people and buy antiques and drive subarus without the fear that a suicide bomber or an IED or a minefield will suddenly end our lives. by someone who gave up his all of his rights so that we can devote ourselves to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

i had to pour out my heart to God in shame, asking His forgiveness for my selfishness. thanking Him for the hero they buried down the street today. and for the reminder of my smallness. of my utter inability to control my circumstances. of the fact that, compared to Him, i am nothing.

but still He loves me.

still He sets His love upon me.

i know you’ve been waiting eagerly for this, the second installment in my iPhone app series. *cough*

today i’d like to introduce you to sleep cycle, my new favorite app. well, favorite is possibly not the best term to use here, because i hesitate to apply any word that indicates happy feelings on my part to something that functions as an alarm clock. because that’s just not possible. it doesn’t happen.

which is actually part of the reason i use this app. i’ve struggled for years to find an alarm clock that could wake me up without inducing the burning desire to rip it out of the wall and hurl it across the room. more of a challenge than you might think, mainly because any alarm clock that possesses the capability to wake me generally has the characteristics of a foghorn in both decibel level and aural beauty. that’s enough to put anyone in a bad mood. i’ve been through alarm clock after alarm clock, and none of them has ever satisfied me- until now.

sleep cycle is “a bio-alarm clock that analyzes your sleep patterns and wakes you when you are in the lightest sleep phase.” no joke. the way it works: you select the time you’d like to wake up and place the phone on your bed, preferably next (but not underneath) to your pillow. the iPhone’s super-sensitive accelerometer (don’t ask me what that is, cuz i really don’t know) monitors your movement during the night, detects your sleep cycle, and wakes you up when you’re in the lightest sleep phase.

and it works. i kid you not, people, it works. i literally wake up right before my alarm clock- rare and notable, especially when it occures multiple times in a week. plus it’s super cool to look back and see what your sleep patterns are- not to mention a good conversation piece.

sleep cycle will run you $.99 at the app store.

this post is actually a journal entry from January of last year. i had the privilege of traveling on a music ministry team that went to churches and schools in the middle atlantic region of the us, promoting bob jones and telling personal stories of God’s hand in our lives. it was an incredible experience, and i met some amazing people. this post is about just one of them who touched me deeply.

today i met ariel gilley. i’m so glad the Lord worked it out the way He did. Pastor MacAvoy had told us that ariel was a concert pianist and a composer, and i was pretty disappointed when i heard that we were staying with a different family. but i got the best of both worlds, because not only did we stay with a wonderful family, angela and i got to sit down and talk with ariel for quite a while this morning.

she is from korea and was saved very young. she’s also an incredible pianist, and her husband set up a recording studio in their home so that she could edit and master on her own. she just finished her first cd, and they’re in the reviewing stage, so they’re sending completed cds to critics. the cd is an hour-long set of variations on the gaelic melody BUNESSAN. the text that was her inspiration is “God of the Ages” by Margaret Clarkson.

i told her that i was planning to buy it when it came out on itunes, and after we talked about composing for a while and i told her about my plans for grad school, she gave me a free copy with best wishes for my future composing.

she talked about my testimony for a little while, and i have to say that i had no idea that so many people would ever be touched by my story. she said that she really appreciated it because God has given her some sort of trial that she often feels is too much for her to bear and that He used my testimony to remind her that God tests His children in order to bring glory to His name. He gives trials to those of His children that He knows will respond in a way that brings fame to Him. which is not something that i’ve ever thought about in conjunction with my particular story. just think- God knew the entire time exactly how i would end up responding and exactly how many people would be touched by this story.

He truly is the God of the Ages.

originally posted on January 19, 2008

you can find ariel’s cd at itunes or amazon.

welcome to iPhone app reviews- where i talk about the apps i can’t live without and why you shouldn’t wait another minute to download them.

first up: evernote. this app is like the brain i never knew i never had. say that five times fast. go ahead. i dare you. *ahem*

it’s basically a powerful, cross-platform digital notebook. you can access your notes from the web, your computer, or your phone. i use it every day- anything i need to remember for longer than a day goes into evernote. i’m a college student, so having class notes accessible is really important to me. i experimented with other notebook solutions like google docs, ms word, and countless other random apps, but nothing worked. until i met evernote. it was love at first type.

i take notes directly into evernote in class. while i’m typing, the program syncs with the evernote web service. which means my class notes are just a finger-tap away, no matter where i am. amazing.

but evernote’s superpowers don’t stop there. you can upload pdfs, snap web clippings, and add voice notes. oh, did i mention that when you add a picture, all the text in the picture immediately becomes searchable? so if (heaven forbid) my laptop should run out of battery, i can hand-write my notes, take a picture of them with my phone, upload the photo, and wham! it’s part of my class notes.

one of my other favorite uses is recipes- when i see a recipe i love, i select, copy, and paste into evernote. (or if i’m using safari, i right-click and add to evernote from the contextual menu!) then when i’m in the grocery store and i can’t remember if that killer cannoli recipe calls for mascarpone or ricotta, i simply look it up. and likely discover that it’s neither and i just dreamed about cannoli because of too much mafia research.

notes are organized into notebooks and can also be tagged. of course, everything is searchable. and notes are geo-tagged, so you can sort them based on location too. you know, so you can find out exactly where you were standing when you added “get a killer cannoli recipe” to your foodie to-do list.

i also use it for grocery lists, to-do lists, audio recordings of composition ideas… and it’s great for stashing all of those things that you know you’ll need someday. there is a monthly upload limit for the free version, but i’ve never even come close to it. clearly i’ve only scratched the surface of evernote usage.

so what are you waiting for? go! Get it from the App Store. and discover the brain you never knew you didn’t have!

i’m the vice president of my society this semester. a job that entails many things- the most important being planning a dating outing for 35 couples. this year’s outing is saturday, nov. 7 (this weekend!) and the theme is vendetta: dinner with the mafia.  so i’ve been doing a lot of research, and i thought now would be a good time to sort of summarize that bright spots.

1. even if it’s not perfectly authentic, my favorite way to make cannoli shells is with a pizzelle iron instead of frying them. ‘what does this have to do with mafia research?’ you ask? only everything. because who spends hours learning about the mafia without craving italian food? not i, said the girl. not i.

2. In the late 1800s, Bayer Pharmaceutical sold heroin and aspirin, marketing them as powerful painkillers. By 1913, heroin’s addictive properties were discovered and it was prohibited in 1919. So thousands of heroin addicts turned to the mafia, which supplied them with the drug, and the infamous “Pizza Connection” was eventually born.

3. “Hit the mattresses” is a legitimate mafia phrase meaning “prepare for battle”. It refers to a feud between two crime ‘families’. And you thought Coppola made that one up.

4. When he was arrested for income tax evasion in 1931, Al Capone was allegedly making about 100 million a year.

5. um. i can’t think of a number 5. it’s a little depressing to see hours of research reduced to four random factoids. oh well.

time to go procure some more cannoli.

originally posted august 3, 2008.
you’re my everything (bagel)

you’re my morning star,
you’re my snack in the car-
you’re the food on my plate when i’m under par.
you’re my favorite meal on an august day
and you’re the food that’s here to stay.

and you play it cool
but you’re oh so cute
all toasted warm and dressed up in your cream cheese suit
bagel, don’t pretend-
you want me to eat you.
i can see it when i look at you!

and on this crazy cereal day
we two are here to stay
it’s you- it’s you!
you make me sing.
you’re every thought
you’re every word
you’re my everything. (bagel)

you’re a tastebud thrill, you’re a cure-all pill,
and you light me up, when you stuff my gills.
you’re a mystery, you’re from NYC,
you’re every minute of my ecstasy.

and i got so scared when i thought you were lost
and i would have bought you back no matter what the cost
but then I saw your face- now i can face the day
with you in my mouth my sky’s no longer gray.

so, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
so, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

and on this crazy cereal day
we two are here to stay
it’s you- it’s you!
you make me sing.
you’re every thought
you’re every word
you’re my everything. (bagel)

so, La, La, La, La, La, La, La
so, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La, La

sometimes the best thing you can do is to just wipe clean the proverbial slate and start over. or you could wrench said slate from its moorings, utter a few frustrated exclamations, and break it over the nearest hard object.

but then you’d have to buy a new slate. and clean up the mess from the old one.

anyway, don’t ask me what’s happened to this ol’ blog in the past few months, because, honestly? i still don’t know. but here we are- you and me, me and you, both of us togetherrrrrr.

in recent news, i’m living in a house (not a dorm!) with an actual kitchen and i’m in love with my new coffee maker. (shhh- don’t read this out loud. my french press might hear you. he’s been feeling a little slighted lately. poor guy)

i’m currently quite busy with school- currently teaching two mornings a week at a nearby elementary school, planning a dating outing for 75 people, and trying to finish my portfolio for my grad school application.

but today, i’m home sick with the flu (rumored to be the infamous H1N1! but unconfirmed…) and i’m wiping off the slate.

look for some re-posting from the archives soon- as soon as i can find the archives, that is. i may have to go piece the shards of that old slate back together after all…

okay, so i have this problem. they tell me that this is the first step in overcoming addiction- admitting the problem. so here goes.

*deep breath*

i like washing my car. i really like it. okay, i might even be obsessed with it. is that so wrong? she’s beautiful, and when she’s clean and shiny she sparkles. no big deal, right?

it’s springtime in greenville. oops, i mean blizzards-of-pollen-covering-everything-time in greenville. i know i’ve posted about allergy season before… somewhere. must’ve gotten lost in the Great Crash. anyway, allergy season. it never ends, y’all. and while this year has been considerably less miserable due to the vast amounts of rain we’ve had lately, it’s still pretty bad.

try to understand where i’m coming from here. i walk out to my car in the afternoon and she’s covered in a veritable blanket of icky pollen. and i mean covered. the extra yellow fuzz makes her look a little bit like a bumblebee. and it totally grosses me out.

last saturday i was out running errands and i saw a great sign at a car wash. it said:

“a clean car will ease the sneeze.”

that’s quality poetry, my dear readers. but it triggered something inside of me. dr. phil would call that sign a “danger zone.” see, when you’re addicted to something, there are certain places or events (or signs) that can send you spiraling back into the depths of addiction before you even recognize what’s happening. pretty soon a seemingly innocent advertising gimmick grabs you and it’s all over.

so after seeing the clever sign, dangerous thoughts began to run through my head. “man, chloe is dirty. this pollen is so gross. she needs a bath. what is with this gross pollen? oh look- i can leave anonymous messages to people by writing in this gross pollen.”

and wham! i’m driving down wade hampton and what do i see? a gas station with a drive-thru car wash. drive-thru car washes are few and far between in this city, people. believe me, i’ve searched all over for them. i ask you, is it purely coincidence that chloe and i should happen upon this fortuitous spot when she desperately needs gas AND a bath? i think not. so we pulled in, filled up, and went through the car wash, leaving chloe beautiful and sparkly and me decidedly less obsessive about the gross-ness of pollen.

we headed back to campus, parked, and i popped the trunk. and then i saw it. my temporary tag. i mean, i DIDN’T see it. it was gone! we bought chloe in georgia, and the dealer gave her a temporary tag that will last almost until we can get her home and get for-real plates. and, well, you guessed it. the temporary tag had FALLEN OFF IN THE CAR WASH! or perhaps somewhere along the way. i could see it in my mind’s eye- blowing across wade hampton boulevard like a desert tumbleweed only to be sucked into the engine of a speeding semi or caught by a dangling mud flap and dragged through pollen-flavored muck until unrecognizable.

i immediately went into semi-panic mode. oh no! what am i going to do? it could be anywhere! it’s gone! i never even dreamed that it would come off in the car wash! of all the stupid things to do, audrey! maybe i can forge a new one. what was on it again? i should call my dad. no, i can’t call him- he’ll be all, “audrey, you didn’t THINK about the fact that the tag might come off in the car wash? what exactly were you thinking?” at which point i would have to own up to my car wash addiction. calling dad was definitely not an option.

then it dawned on me. my clean-car obsession had gone too far. this must be my warning. i had to overcome this addiction. i had to rise above the clutching webs of my fanaticism and resign myself to driving a fuzzy bumblebee instead of a sparkly black jetta, thereby saving money, water, and the lives of countless whales, plankton, and other ocean-dwellers. a noble cause. yes, this would be the end of my car wash addiction. obsessed no longer! free at last!

we went back to the car wash later that evening, fingers crossed and prayers uplifted. and there it was, lying face down in the muck. my temporary tag. alive and well-protected by its plastic sleeve. i picked it up, wiped it off, put it inside the back dash, and drove away.

now if you’ll excuse me, i need to go wash my car. she’s looking awfully fuzzy.

hi there. the fact that i’m writing this means that i do actually believe that you’re out there somewhere. which is a big step considering your current glaring absence. it’s okay- i’m sure you have your reasons. but you’ve kinda been on my mind lately, and there are a couple of things that i’d like to tell you. in the interests of full disclosure and all.

i heart apple
you are a mac user, aren’t you? honey, listen. (can i call you honey? thanks.) there are things on which we can compromised and then there are dealbreakers. there is small stuff that should not be sweated and then there is mondo-gargantuan stuff for which one should fervently perspire. macintosh usage is just one of those things. i’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt here and assume that you’re already an apple fanboy. but if you’re not, consider this the medo-persian decree. you have until you meet me to switch. according to my records, only 8.5% of the people who read this blog are mac users. (people, that’s just sad.) so if you’re reading this, you had better be part of that 8.5%, k? ‘nuff said.

i ignore alarm clocks
part of me really, really hopes that you are a morning person. because i’m just not. and it’s not that i have anything against alarm clocks. i just don’t hear them. honest i don’t. which gets me in trouble. so if you could just take over the whole alarm clock function that would be great. please don’t take it personally if any verbal and/or physical abuse occurs during the whole wake-up process. just drag me out of bed and point me towards the coffee and i’ll be fine.

i have this thing for food
i know, i know, we all have to eat to survive. but it’s bigger than that for me. i love food. and i’m really a very even-tempered person, but if i should ever happen to be just a bit cranky, odds are that i’m really just hungry. so try feeding me and see if it helps. this can be dangerous because if i’m not hungry and something actually is wrong it’ll make me mad if you try to placate me with food. unless it’s coffee-flavored haagen-dazs or pickles or black and white shrimp nachos with transcendent guacamole. any of the aforementioned foods will cover a multitude of sins. i know you’re probably all perfect and would never dream of doing anything that would make me angry, but just in case you ever need to appease me you should know that food will get you further than flowers any day. i mean, dozens of red roses are nice and all, but to be honest i’d much rather have some great tiramisu or tomatillo salsa. seriously.

that’s all for now, but i promise to keep you updated on a strict need-to-know basis. when i need you to know something, i’ll tell you. i hope you have a great day! please don’t feel slighted if i ignore you on the sidewalk- i might not recognize you. in fact, if you’d like to wear a nametag or a homing device or a gigantic sandwich board that screams my name, that would be just fine.

love,
audrey

p.s. you’re not an ohio fan, are you? honey, let’s be realistic here…