il mucca

i was all ready to write a post today about the lady in the green subaru who’s stood between me and my coffee in the starbucks drive-thru multiple times this week (and how she’s partially to blame for my frantic mornings) and to form any number of mostly unfounded conclusions about her to support my witty diatribe.

it would have been a doozy. i am not a fan of subarus in general.

as i drove home this afternoon, i noticed a large group of people lining the road, bundled up in the cold, grey afternoon drizzle, and hundreds of american flags. there were flags everywhere- big ones, small ones. held by people. sticking up out of the brown, dead grass next to the sidewalks. draped on fire engines. attached to cars. a seemingly endless row of flags, whipping in the angry wind. it took me several blocks to figure out why they were gathered- people and flags- braving the cold and the wind and the rain. a parade? a protest?

suddenly it hit me. and i had to pull over and stop my car. not just because every car on wade hampton was stopped, but because i could no longer see the road because of the tears that clouded my vision.

and the frustrations of my week disappeared. the lady in the green subaru, the fight i had with my roommate, the finals i have to take next week, my quest for the perfect vintage chair- all of it.

i was completely and totally eclipsed. by someone who made the ultimate sacrifice. so that people like you and me can go to starbucks and attend school and disagree with people and buy antiques and drive subarus without the fear that a suicide bomber or an IED or a minefield will suddenly end our lives. by someone who gave up his all of his rights so that we can devote ourselves to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

i had to pour out my heart to God in shame, asking His forgiveness for my selfishness. thanking Him for the hero they buried down the street today. and for the reminder of my smallness. of my utter inability to control my circumstances. of the fact that, compared to Him, i am nothing.

but still He loves me.

still He sets His love upon me.